Mental Backpack
the stepping stone theory of career growth, bravery, and silent reading
It’s a rainy day in NYC and I’m into the cozy vibes. I’m a solid 5. It was fun making you a few things for your mental backpack this week. I hope you enjoy.
FOR THOUGHT
I’ve always subscribed to what I call The Stepping Stone Theory of Career Growth. I’ve never had a 5 year plan. I don’t like goals. But I do like growth.
Here’s how it works: In whatever role/company/industry I’m in, I try to do my best to learn and advance. Over the months and years I’m getting closer and closer to the far end of the stepping stone of that role. Eventually, the next stepping stone comes into view. (I imagine these as stepping stones in a pond, as in, you don’t want to fall in!)
The closer you get to the edge of your current stone, the better you can see the one or more stones out ahead. The next stepping stone might be a promotion, a slightly bigger role in another organization, an adjacent role, a graduate program, going independent, writing a book, or a million other things.
The edge of your current stone is an interesting place to be. You might feel bored with your stone. You might feel in your body the urge to leap. You might be gauging just how far the next stone is and if you can make the leap. Eventually, in the words of Anaïs Nin, “the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
AND YOU LEAP!
There are a few tricks to a good leap:
You don’t leap from the early end of your stone. I’m not a big advocate for patiently “paying your dues” but it helps if your previous stone would write you a killer recommendation.
You see a stone that will take some fast twitch muscles to get to, but you likely won’t land in the water. That is, you’ve got a real shot of getting the job/being accepted into the program/making money as a solopreneur, etc.
You’re ready to feel like an idiot again.
If you make it to the next stone, Congrats! You have a whole new surface area to explore and it’s happy to have you. But do you remember the Yael Naim song New Soul? “But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear // Finding myself making every possible mistake.” That’s you.
At the far end of a stone, where you just were, you knew what the hell you’re doing. Now you’re a new soul again and are maybe wondering: Why am I not immediately good at this new stone?
It might take some conscious effort to remember that you actually love learning about a new industry/company/role and building new skills. You get to have an “unspoiled mind” again. It’s fun because you get to challenge convention and make things up. And hopefully you’re only slightly annoying to the others around you who are like “Who is this new creative fucker?”
Eventually you make your way across the stone. Hopefully you enjoy learning it’s texture and soaking in new view. And before long you might see yet another stone emerge ahead of you.
Happy hopping.
…
P.S. I’ve written about the stones as if they’re steps to more seniority, money, and prestige since that’s how many careers go—but they don’t need to be. The next stone can be anything that feels like a fresh new opportunity. Something you’re excited to learn. For example, I once left a teaching job become an actor. There was nothing more senior, lucrative (ha), or prestigious about the move, but damn was it fun. That was enough!
FOR ACTION
Something I’ve learned about bravery at work:
You don’t need to feel brave. You only need to make decisions like a brave person.
Somehow acting brave has gotten conflated with looking brave. When I think of bravery, I hate that it’s true, but the first thing that pops to mind is Mel Gibson with war paint on charging ahead. Sure, that’s bravery. But bravery is also looking fucking miserable, wringing your hands and biting your lip, and still making the brave choice. If you did the brave thing, bravery doesn’t give a shit if you had sweaty palms doing it.
Is there a decision that you know would be best for your team, business, or life that you’ve been putting off making? Something that you’ve been wanting to say but have held your tongue? Do it with tears, sweaty palms, and a crack in your voice. Though if you want to try war paint, that might be festive.
FOR FUN
Seriously, why not??
See you next week,
Bree
Shall we make the working world a little more human together? Please like/share/restack. Thanks, truly.