How "Plan B values" can save your day

Like keeping beans in your pantry, but for your soul

We went apple picking last weekend. It was a Plan A kind of day.

Hi! My name is Bree, and I write about how to have better days at work and in life. Subscribe for posts on everything from 20 short rules for better days at work to Grandpa Mornings. And order my new book, Today Was Fun: A Book About Work (Seriously)!

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Plan A: I don’t do “busy”

I hold deep values around ease, sustainable work, and savoring my time on the planet. I prioritize and plan and don’t over-schedule. I reject the notion that being busy equates to being important, needed, valuable.

I know: Bree, what wellness cult are you trying to start? Do you live in the real world?

Obviously, Plan A isn’t always favored by reality. So what happens on the days when I have 18 things to do and time for 12 of them? My first strategy, my Plan A, is to prioritize or strategize or find a workaround to save me from my busy day so I can live in accordance with my values. But when that doesn’t work? When my dad needs me to get his prescription AND I need to send the client contract AND I need to work on Arden’s middle school applications, AND AND AND… When I’ve conceded that there’s no prioritization or workaround that’s going to save me from the busy day, I simply adopt different values—as heretical as that may seem. I say, “Ok brain, get our Plan B values off the bench. It’s game time!”

Plan B: Busyness is a sign of life!

• How lucky am I that I’m needed by my family and friends and clients and partners.

• I think of this clip from comedian Mike Birbiglia where he asks Bob Odenkirk who he’s jealous of and Bob responds, “Anyone who still has kids at home.” I realize how much I will one day miss wrangling Arden out the door.

• I think of the Calvin & Hobbs comic my grandparents had in their home that read, “God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I’m so far behind, I will never die.” To have things to do is to have reason to live!

• The busy bee. The busy beaver. They are building, working, changing the world around them for the better.

• I think of my years in consulting and how the opposite of being busy—being under-contracted—is far worse!

• And I remember busyness can be invigorating. It’s cool to feel like a sniper, a fixer, a powerhouse who knows how to Get Shit Done.

I do this mental trick because after I’ve decided I’m going to have a busy day, I figure I have two options: 1/ Feel like shit about it, or 2/ Feel awesome about it.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not always a natural flip of the switch. I do spend some time in the land of, “But if I don’t berate myself about mismanaging my time, how will I ever learn? I MUST feel like shit if we’re going to prevent this from happening again.” And then I remember that I tried that most of my life and somehow I still ended up busy, so maybe it wasn’t that effective after all.

Here are some other Plan B Values:

Plan A: I value my health and I know regular exercise is perhaps the greatest contributor to it.

Plan B: Whoopsies. Did I wake up and 0% of me wanted to exercise and so I didn’t? Today I value REST. The pure delight of playing hooky. I value doing “most things, most days.”

Plan A: I value exploring the city with my family, having adventures, being out in the world and astonished by it!

Plan B: Oh, did we just do laundry and grocery shop today and not one other interesting thing? Where did I put those Plan B values… ah here they are! I value the simple things in life. The few seconds of putting on clothes fresh from the dryer and letting the heat sink into my skin so immediately it gives me the chills; the joy of a well-stocked fridge.

You get the idea. As F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote:

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.

I mean, not to tout my first-rate intelligence or anything. Because sometimes I DON’T function. I just stand there in my exercise clothes not knowing whether to rush out the door to a class or give it all up to finish things at home—all while looking like I’m staring down the countdown clock attached to some TNT.

But eventually I pick a lane. Plan A or Plan B.

The delightful work of Mary Engelbreit. I had this print on the wall of my childhood bedroom.

No one does, or should, live only by one set of values. Because, frankly, there are so many things to value! Perhaps the best we can do is decide not to feel bad about adopting different values when the moment calls for them.

What are you all valuing today? Endurance? Play? Intellectual depth? Friendly gossip? Expression? Ease? The power of being an expert? The delight of being a novice? Is it a Let’s Fucking Go day, or a Let’s Fucking Go To Bed day? Tell us so we can discuss in the comments :)

Have you read Today Was Fun yet?

If you haven’t because you were waiting for the Korean translation DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU. We sold the first TWF translation rights!

And if you have read it… could you, would you, leave a review? It would fill my heart with cookies. Amazon is here. Goodreads here. Thank you, truly.