12 short rules for not burning out

Let's skip the part about hitting rock bottom, shall we?

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To anyone who subscribed because of 20 short rules for better days at work, welcome! I’m really happy you’re here.

And if you were like, “You know what I could go for? Rules for better days at work but make it a BOOK,” I’ve got you, friend. Today Was Fun will be out this summer!

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I had a LOT of fun writing a list last time and I still had so many more numbers in me, so I thought I’d whip up part two. Hope you enjoy!

12 short rules for not burning out

1. Disappoint up. Please down. Conventional logic around burnout is to say “no” more. But who do we end up saying no to? Often it’s yes to the boss “I can take that on” and no to the kid “I can’t play right now.” Or yes to the influential person willing to meet and no to the up-and-comer asking for support. That might be good for our careers, but it’s bad for our souls. Spend more time being the hero.

2. Do one thing the slow way. Instead of email or text, handwrite a letter. Instead of the Nespresso pod, make the moka pot. Instead of ordering the book, go to the bookstore. Our bodies need to know that not everything is a rush.

3. Start a band at work. My friend Sue did this and to hear her talk about their first performance you’d think she’d won the 4th grade talent show. She said, “Everyone at work is talking about AI efficiency, and I’m talking about forming a band!” Sometimes work is broccoli, and instead of trying to make it steak, just throw cheese on it. Have the stressful day, then go to band practice.

4. Shoot for the middle. We are inundated with messages of growth, scale, the more impact the better. But we don’t have to oblige. We can glorify the local impact, the sustainable business, the ease. For example, success for the book is not becoming Tim Ferriss. I don’t want the death threats, the trolls. I want to joyfully share the art I made with people who will enjoy it.

5. Let music fix you up. If someone tells me, “Cheer up!” I’m not fucking cheering up. I now not only feel stressed, I feel guilty about feeling stressed. Some days, if I can’t fix my mood, and no one else can fix my mood, I let music fix my mood. So I made you a mixtape! I am not cool about music mind you. I’m just sharing songs that make me happy. (I think I’ve shared a collaborator link so feel free to add your jams too!)

6. Say a no that sounds like a yes. “Yes, I can have that to you end of next week, just not this week.” “Yes, I can do that if Anthony can work on it with me.” “Yes, I can get you a draft today, just not the final thing.” “Yes, I can totally do that, I’ll just move the other thing you asked to next week.”

7. Remember: most things, most days. This is my motto on burnout-y days. Did I exercise, eat healthy, return the urgent emails, make progress on the important thing, floss, cuddle my daughter, enjoy a meal with my husband, text my friend, and take my vitamins? No. Did I do like three of those things? Great. I win.

8. Be a meets expectations employee and an exceeds expectations human. Go on, get yourself a gold star for sleeping. A medal for exercising. A flirty slap on the ass for being an A+ partner. Let’s not work like we’re going to have our performance reviews inscribed on our tombstones.

9. Accessorize. Do you worry today will be remembered as “The Day I Stressed and Failed”? No longer! Today shall now be remembered as “The Day I Wore a Bird Hat to Work and Everyone Liked It” (True story.)

10. Find a running joke with coworkers. I facilitated an offsite earlier this week on joy at work and one woman’s story of the most fun she’s had recently was when everyone on her team took turns getting inside a locker at the office. Work is dull? SOMEONE GET IN THE LOCKER. Work is no longer dull.

11. Don’t squeeze the humanity from your meetings. When we’re burning out it’s tempting to announce, “No meetings without an agenda,” “No chit chat let’s get right into it”. But often when we’re burning out our primary need is not more minutes. It’s more connection. To feel that we’re not in this hard moment alone. Start with hello every time.

12. Remember, you don’t have to burn out before finding ease. The story arc is so common sometimes it feels like the only way: the high-flying executive who crashed and only then learned the value of family, health, and a life well-lived. But you know what? The crash isn’t necessary to find happier days. You can just… start having them. Like, today. Simply because you decide your days matter.